One Unforgettable Summer
by Minnowfairy
Summary: Mavis Monogram is O.W.C.A.'s top human agent, so it's only natural that she's paired with O.W.C.A.'s top animal agent. One summer, she and Perry are sent out every day to the home of one Heinz Doofenshmirtz, who comes up with very pathetic evil schemes and seems to be incapable of stopping. An OC rewrite of the entire PnF series.
1. Rollercoaster

**Rollercoaster**

Mavis Monogram was desperate to go out in the field. She had been part of O.W.C.A. since she was eleven, and now that she was a full-fledged sixteen-year-old agent, she was desperate to be a real field agent.

So when her father, Major Monogram, finally suggested that she become partners with top animal agent Perry the Platypus, she jumped at the chance. She didn't know him very well, but at least she was working out in the field.

They were given their assignment, then they flew to the building of Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz in their hovercar.

Bursting into the building, Mavis felt a thrill of excitement. She was beside Perry the Platypus, O.W.C.A.'s best agent, finally out in the field. And fighting O.W.C.A.'s most notorious evil scientist, no less.

The tall man in a lab coat turned around slowly, grinning maniacally. "Ah, Perry the Platypus, what an unexpected surprise. And by unexpected, I mean COMPELTELY EXPECTED!"

Doofenshmirtz slammed his fist against a button on the wall, making robot arms fly out of the walls and grab Mavis and Perry's arms and legs. Mavis let out a growl but Perry stayed silent.

"Ah, I was told I would have a tagalong today." Doofenshmirtz scrutinised Mavis. "Who are you?"

"My name is Mavis Monogram, and I am Agent Perry the Platypus's partner!" Mavis snapped back, angry at being called a "tagalong". "Call me Agent M. If you call me anything else, I'll push you off the side of the building."

Doofenshmirtz paused, before saying, "Fair enough. Anyway, let me tell you about my evil scheme!"

"We're all ears," Mavis said sardonically.

Doofenshmirtz walked off towards his device and spread his arms theatrically. "I, Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, have covered the entire eastern seaboard in tin foil, and when I put my giant magnet, next to my genius, Magnetism Magnifier, I will pull the East, in westerly direction, thereby reversing the rotation of the earth!"

Mavis blinked and glanced over at Perry, who seemed to be indifferent to the plan.

"You may ask yourself, why would he do this? What could he possibly have to gain?" Doofenshmirtz continued.

"That's definitely one question I want the answer to," Mavis muttered.

"Well, let me just answer that question." He paused. "I haven't really worked on all the bugs yet. I mean, tin foil alone costs a lot."

He started nattering on about something or another. Meanwhile, Mavis leant over to Perry and whispered, "This guy's a loon."

Perry nodded slowly.

"So how do we get out of this?"

The platypus paused, before spotting a little screw on the ground. He gestured to it with his head, before lining up the shot.

"…and sell it again," Doofenshmirtz was saying.

He turned towards the two agents, which was when Perry slapped the screw with his tail, sending it flying at Doofenshmirtz. Mavis willed it on, but Doofenshmirtz ducked in time and laughed at the platypus. "Ha, you missed!"

Mavis watched the screw ricochet off the ceiling and embed itself in the evil scientist's foot, causing him to leap around in pain, clutching his foot. He accidentally fell backwards into the button on the wall, releasing Perry and Mavis.

While Mavis massaged her sore wrists and ankles, Perry immediately launched himself at Doofenshmirtz and hit him in the face, before grabbing a wrench and slamming it into the evil scientist's foot, causing him to scream again and fall over backwards. He kicked Perry away, but before Mavis could reach him, he pulled the lever down and activated the machine.

"Now you are too late!" he cackled.

Mavis gasped and turned to Perry, whose eyes had narrowed and were trained on the Magnifier.

"Quake in your boots and watch helplessly, as the unimaginable electromagnetic forces, pull the eastern seaboard, thereby reversing the rotation of the-!"

The tin foil flew off the buildings.

There was a pause inside the building. Mavis blinked. Doofenshmirtz blinked. Perry looked as if he was expecting that.

"Well…" Doofenshmirtz said eventually. "…that didn't work."

Mavis gasped again as she saw that the tin foil was forming into a giant metal ball as it flew towards them.

"And now, we have a two ton ball of tin foil traveling two hundred miles an hour DIRECTLY AT US!" Doofenshmirtz screeched.

Perry and Mavis exchanged a horrified look. "Separate the magnet from the magnifier!" Mavis yelled, pointing at the machine. "Quickly!"

Doofenshmirtz immediately began pushing at the magnifier from the bottom. Perry tried to find a way to separate them. Mavis, meanwhile, began trying to interfere with the magnet's electrical system, to no avail.

"It's no use, it's no use, we are doomed!" Doofenshmirtz panicked.

"Tin foil isn't even magnetic!" Mavis yelped. "TIN FOIL DOES NOT CONTAIN IRON SO IT SHOULD NOT BE MAGNETIC!"

"Be quiet, it's a cartoon!" Doofenshmirtz retorted.

All of a sudden, Perry leapt onto the magnet and fired a grappling hook into the air. Mavis watched as it latched onto a helicopter flying nearby. He tied the rope around the magnet just as the helicopter flew off, taking the magnet with it.

"You did it!" Doofenshmirtz cheered. "You saved us, Perry the Platypus!"

Mavis screamed as she saw that the tin foil ball was still flying at them. She dived off the roof without even thinking. Luckily she found that she had gone in just the right direction; she landed on the balcony of Doofenshmirtz's actual apartment. She heard an almighty crash, then Doofenshmirtz yelling, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

Mavis exhaled slowly, feeling her entire body shaking. She tried to get her breathing back to normal. That…had been both terrifying and exhilarating. She hadn't been expecting a near death experience on her first day as a full O.W.C.A. agent. She activated her watch and found Perry's slightly concerned face looking back at her.

"Don't worry, I'm alive," she said sardonically.

Perry just shrugged and gave a chatter.

"Don't give me that; you didn't know I wouldn't get hit by that ball."

Mavis had been around Perry for long enough that she could fairly accurately interpret his noises and facial expressions.

 _"_ _But you weren't,"_ his expression seemed to say.

Mavis rolled her eyes. "Next time, please don't assume I can save myself. Most of the time I can, but I'd rather be rescued by you than smashed to pieces by some tin foil ball travelling at two hundred miles an hour directly at me."

 _"_ _Alright, I'll bear that in mind."_

Mavis sighed. "See you back at HQ, then."

Perry nodded and switched off his watch.

Mavis rolled onto her back and lay spread-eagled, hardly having the energy to move. The adrenaline was currently ebbing out of her body. This was only her first day on the job; how was the rest of her career going to go?

 _This is going to be one unforgettable summer._


	2. Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror

**Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror**

"Man, it's hot," Mavis groaned, dragging herself into her and Perry's lair. She collapsed in her chair and allowed her limbs and head to spill out of it. She was wearing a white and yellow checked summer dress but she was STILL boiling.

A few minutes later, Perry dropped down next to her. He looked across at her, seemingly unimpressed by her appearance. She scowled at him. "What, you SERIOUSLY think I was going to wear BLACK today? It's, like, a hundred and ten degrees out there! I don't care if it's not uniform; I'm NOT changing."

Perry rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I'm wearing my fedora!" Mavis snapped, pointing to the hat on his head. "That's good enough."

Just then, Mavis's father's face appeared on the screen. "Good morning, Agent P and Agent M. Lawn gnomes across the Tri-State Area are disappearing, leaving thousands of gardens unprotected from the evils of black magic. We suspect Doofenshmirtz. Get right on it."

Perry saluted and ran off, but before Mavis could voice her objections about working on such a hot day, her boss's face had disappeared. She groaned and got up off the chair. "I just want some chocolate ice cream…"

Perry was waiting for her in the hovercar. She climbed in next to him, and he took off. As they left, Mavis heard a few female voices sing, "Perry!"

"What was that?" Mavis demanded.

Perry shrugged, but Mavis suspected he did know.

While they were flying, Perry put on a fake white beard, a red hat, and little blue clothes. Mavis stared at him. "What ARE you doing?"

Then Perry leapt off the hovercar, leaving Mavis to grab the wheel and land it in a tree, out of sight. She watched as he landed in a garden and stood stock still. A few seconds later, some kind of large vacuum came out of the ground and sucked him up. Mavis blinked. "W-Whoa…!"

Out of her fedora, she took a small digging device and dug down into the ground in the place where the vacuum had come out. She dropped down into a large cavern, where there were piles and piles of lawn gnomes. Her eyes widened, but at that moment, she spoted Doofenshmirtz holding Perry-gnome. "Oh, this is a strange one," he commented.

Then Perry kicked him in the face and landed on the ground. "Wait, who are you?" Doofenshmirtz gasped.

Perry took off the disguise.

"A platypus?"

Perry put on his fedora.

"PERRY THE PLATYPUS!?"

Mavis leapt out from her hiding place just then, landing beside Perry in a fighting stance.

"Agent Mavis!" gasped Doofenshmirtz.

"Actually, it's Agent-." She broke off and sighed. "Close enough. Surrender, Doofenshmirtz!"

"Not gonna happen! You two are mine!"

He pointed a remote at the two agents and pressed a button menacingly. Mavis flinched, but all that happened was the garage door behind them opened. "Oh no, wait, wait, wait. That was the garage door opener…" He grabbed another remote and pointed it triumphantly at them. "You are mine NOW!"

This time, the television flickered on behind Doofenshmirtz. "…and that was the TV remote. I've GOT to start labelling these things…"

As he sorted through a few more remotes, Mavis shot Perry a look of disbelief. Were they REALLY going to have to fight this guy EVERY day? Perry just shrugged back without even looking at her.

"Aha!" Doofenshmirtz suddenly crowed. "You are mine NOW!"

One more button press later, Mavis and Perry were trapped in a pet carrier that was just large enough for a kneeling-down Mavis. She let out an angry sigh. "Lucky this isn't HUMILIATING."

"Finally, I will rid myself of you!" Doofenshmirtz exhaled and brought out yet another remote control. "But first, turn your attention to the giant screen and-."

Mavis snickered as the garage door closed behind them.

"Hmm… Maybe I need to turn the cable on first?" He walked away to check the monitor.

"Next time, could you design a trap that's more spacious and less humiliating?" Mavis called after him irritably.

He appeared not to hear her. Just as he came back towards them, he suddenly paused. This caused Mavis and Perry to freeze too, staring at him and each other in confusion.

"Can you guys hear music?" Doofenshmirtz asked, frowning as he listened hard.

Mavis strained her ears and managed to make out the strands of a song.

 _"_ _Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach. Nothing's out of reach, we got the backyard beach. Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach. Don't fall into the breach, got the backyard beach!"_

 _A backyard beach,_ Mavis thought wistfully. _Sunbathing, paddling, ice creams, surfing… Sounds like heaven right now. Why can't I go?_

"Well, what do you know?" Doofenshmirtz said. "Anyway, I think I finally got the right one."

 _Oh, yeah._

"Now, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz pointed his flashlight at Perry and Mavis, both of whom squinted against the light. "You will finally understand...my PAIN!"

He pressed the button on the right remote and started showing his presentation. Mavis closed her eyes and yawned. _Here we go._

"Back in Gimmelshtump in the days of my youth, the Doofenshmirtzes were a proud family. But those were lean times for my father and our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. Who would protect our zatzenfruit garden from those witches, spells, and wood trolls? From a tender age, my father decided that it would be me."

"Tragic," Mavis muttered.

"While the other children played Kick-the-Schtumpel and eat Doonkelberries, I would stand for hours."

"Poor you."

"All through the cold night as the Spitzenhounds howled, my only companion was the moon. And my neighbour Kenny."

"So lonely."

Doofenshmirtz whirled round and glared at her. "Man, you have NO concept of tragedy, do you? OR compassion!"

Mavis just shrugged, so Doofenshmirtz scowled and continued his speech: "And since my lawn gnome was taken away from me, I will destroy every lawn gnome in the entire Tri-State Area! Behold, the Destruct-inator!" He spread his arms theatrically.

"Creative name," remarked Mavis sarcastically. When Doofenshmirtz turned to glare at her again, she added, "All I'm saying is that, while it sounds like it sucked, I'm not entirely sure why it's grounds to destroy all lawn gnomes."

The evil scientist scowled. "That's because you're not an evil genius, like me."

Mavis snorted, but Doofenshmirtz ignored her. "And now to activate my creation!"

He grabbed one of his remotes and pressed the button on it, lifting Perry and Mavis's trap. "NOOO," Doofenshmirtz groaned, before getting smacked in the face by Perry's tail.

Mavis snatched the remote from Doofenshmirtz and threw it at him. He ducked, but it distracted him long enough for Perry to kick him into a large lever, switching it to "blow". So instead of sucking gnomes up, it began to blow them out.

"PERRY!" Mavis snapped. "Now we're all doomed!"

Perry just shrugged as the ground began to shake. Doofenshmirtz started running around in a panic, trying to stop the machine. Mavis braced herself.

Then there was an almighty explosion.

…

As the water drained away from the beach, Mavis emerged from the receding volcano, sopping wet and gasping for air, and collapsed on the sand on her back. She wheezed, coughing up a little water. "WHY. ME."

She lay there in the hot sun until she dried off, then she got to her trembling feet and brushed the sand off her clothes. "Man, looks like I missed the party." She sighed. "Ah, well."

Just then, Perry came up to her, holding two ice creams. He handed her the chocolate one. She smiled weakly at him as he started licking his vanilla ice cream. "Thanks, Agent P."

 _"_ _Bedraggled is a good look for you."_

"Shut up."


	3. Flop Starz

**Flop Starz**

"Yeah, the new job is cool." Mavis twisted on her bed and lay back, looking upside-down at her poster. "A lot more dangerous than I thought. I've only been on the job two days and I've already nearly been hit by a tin foil ball, had to jump off a roof, and nearly drowned in a volcano."

"That sounds dangerous," her brother commented. "Are you sure you're up to it?"

"I have Perry with me, Monty, I'll be fine." She sighed slowly. "So how's HSWACA?"

"It's great!" Monty enthused. Mavis could hear the grin in his voice. "I'm learning to fight evil, just like Dad."

"Doesn't Dad want you to be an acrobat?"

"Yeah… But maybe once I graduate in a few weeks, he'll see that I'm capable of doing what he does. Also, I don't think it's fair that you're the youngest but YOU get to fight evil and I don't."

"Parents always have grander expectations for the older ones." Mavis grinned. "And anyway-."

She was interrupted by a beeping coming from her watch. "Oh, hold on. I gotta go, bro. Good luck with your final exams."

"Thanks, Mavis. Go be awesome."

"Always am."

Mavis grinned as she hung up the phone and went through the secret entrance in her wardrobe to the lair. Talking to her brother always made her feel better, no matter what the situation was. She just wished she had had enough time to confess to Monty about her fears of not being good enough.

She landed in her chair like normal, and the screen flickered on. "Good morning, Mavis."

"Sir, you have to call me Agent M at work," Mavis reminded him.

"Oh, oh yes. Of course. Good morning, Agent M."

"Good morning, sir."

Just then, Perry came crashing into his seat, full of water.

"Eww, is that-?! That's TOILET water!" Mavis shrieked. "GROSS, Perry!"

Perry raised an eyebrow. Then he shook his fur like a dog, spraying Mavis with water. The teenage girl shrieked again and scrambled away from Perry, falling off the chair. "PERRY!"

"Behave yourselves," Major Monogram said sternly. "Anyway, we just received word that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying up construction toys at an alarming rate. We need you to find out what he's up to and put a stop to it."

The two agents saluted and rushed to the vehicles. Perry hopped on his scooter but Mavis folded her arms. "You're seriously going to drive that thing? You think a platypus riding a scooter won't attract any attention?"

Perry just ignored her and zoomed away. Mavis glared after him and yelled, "YOU SELFISH JERK!"

Luckily, her father had already gone and hadn't heard that.

"Perry!" sang the backup singers.

"Oh, go drink sewer water!" Mavis snapped, waving her hands around. Scowling, she got into the hovercar and flew up out of the lair, making sure to fly high enough that if she was spotted, she wouldn't be recognised.

As she approached Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, she heard something that gave her a fright and caused her to almost fall out of the hovercar: "Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!", sung by a male quartet.

"What the heck is that?"

"A jingle!" one of the men's disembodied voices said happily. "Mr Doofenshmirtz hired us to play it as soon as someone approaches the building."

"Fantastic," Mavis sighed.

As she continued to fly towards DEI, she was shocked to see it suddenly get up and turn into a robot, which then began stomping off.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF TWINKIES?!" Mavis yelped.

She flew the hovercar towards it, spotting Doofenshmirtz inside its head. She activated the hovercar's weapons and started firing at the head, only half-hoping that Perry was in there.

A split second later, the robot's arm came flying towards her and smashed into the car, sending Mavis flying. She screamed as she went flailing towards the robot's "shoulders". She grabbed hold of the edge of it, but her momentum was so great that she lost her grip almost immediately. Just before she fell, she felt two strong little hands close over her wrist and catch her. Mavis flinched as she was almost hit by the robot's arm, then she looked up into the face of Perry the Platypus. He looked both sheepish and worried.

"Just forget it and help me up!" Mavis called over the noise of the wind.

Perry pulled hard, helping Mavis onto solid ground. Then he led her through the hole he had busted in the side of the robot's head. Doofenshmirtz swung round as he heard them come in. "Oh, Agent Mavis, there you are! Where've you been?"

"Aww, you missed me?" Mavis smirked.

"What?! No!" Doofenshmirtz coughed briefly. "Is it…hot in here?"

"Yeah," Mavis replied, pointing to where Perry was removing a metal cover from the side of the robot.

"Wait, wait, wait, you're not supposed to touch that!" Doofenshmirtz yelped, rushing over to him.

Perry pulled out a few wires.

"Hey, hey, no fair!"

"Red to green!" Mavis called. "Put red to green!"

Perry raised an eyebrow, before touching the sparking ends of the red and green cables together. This caused an explosion that expelled Mavis, Perry, and Doofenshmirtz out of the robot's nose. They went flying straight through a building and out the other side, hurtling towards their deaths.

Mavis and Doofenshmirtz were both screaming, but Perry had somehow procured a black videotape. He pulled out the tape itself and wrapped it around a metal flagpole. As it pulled taut, Perry grabbed Mavis's wrist, causing the two of them to stop falling. They watched as Doofenshmirtz continued to fall and scream.

"Are you gonna…?" Mavis began worriedly. "I mean, he's…"

Perry just shook his head and pointed with his head. Mavis watched as Doofenshmirtz landed on a soft mattress. Even from up here, they could hear his voice. "Ooh! What an unbelievable stroke of luck!"

As Perry and Mavis dropped lightly to the ground, the mattress folded in half, trapping him inside. "I'm okay! I'm still better than the-."

The robot's foot landed on him suddenly, causing a loud noise. As Perry and Mavis ran past, they heard, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

"It's like I don't even exist," Mavis mumbled.

Perry took hold of her wrist and pulled her into an alley. He was looking more sheepish now, but Mavis interrupted, "It's fine, Perry. I was being a silly teenage girl."

 _"_ _I'm still sorry."_

"I know you are, and I am too." Mavis smirked. "But next time, don't spray toilet water on me, okay?"

 _"_ _What about leaving without you?"_

"Eh." Mavis shrugged. "That scooter couldn't fit two anyway. Did anyone see you, after all?"

Perry slowly nodded.

"Anyone you know?"

Perry nodded again, causing Mavis's eyes to widen. "How…?!"

The platypus took out a pair of Groucho glasses and put them on. Mavis burst out laughing. "Nice disguise! Did they fall for it?"

Perry nodded for a third time, the hint of a smirk coming onto his own face.

Mavis exhaled deeply, closing her eyes briefly against the cool air. "Let's get home. I'm sure you want to get back to your warm bed, and I need to tell my brother about how I almost died. Again."

Perry smiled in a friendly way. _"You're doing really well so far."_

"Thank you, Perry. Thank you."


	4. The Fast and the Phineas

**The Fast and the Phineas**

Today's mission was very simple: find out why Doofenshmirtz had bought a large blimp. Perry and Mavis hopped into their hovercar and flew off to find it. Luckily, it was big and purple and not that hard to spot. As they approached it, they heard one of the Swamp Oil 500 announcers tell the crowd, "And with the race about to start, there's the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated blimp!"

Immediately, they heard the normal, _"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!"_ jingle, causing Mavis to groan.

"That is SO stupid. Don't you agree, Perry?"

The platypus didn't respond. Instead, he waited until they were close enough, then he leapt out of the car and through the glass window. Rolling her eyes, Mavis followed. _He always has to be so theatric._

Doofenshmirtz was standing beside his latest –inator, grinning like always. "Ah, Perry the Platypus and Agent Mavis. I'm glad you're here, actually." He went over to a lever on the wall. "I was just getting ready to serve some AGENTS UNDER GLASS!"

Mavis knew what was going to happen before it did, but as usual, she couldn't stop it. A large glass dome with a few holes in it fell from the ceiling and slammed to the ground over them. Mavis sighed, but at least it was more spacious and less humiliating than that pet carrier trap.

"You're just in time to witness my latest invention!" Doofenshmirtz strode back over to his device. "My Deflate-inator Ray! Which I will demonstrate by deflating the tires of the Jefferson County Motor Speedway! After which, I will deflate everything in the Tri-State Area! That way, if anyone want's anything flated, they will have to talk to me."

"Flated isn't even a word," Mavis sighed. "I think you mean INflated."

Doofenshmirtz glared at her for a few seconds. "Shut up."

Mavis smirked. "Also, your plan is super dumb."

"Hey, wanna see how you'd look if I deflated your face?" Doofenshmirtz demanded.

Mavis fell silent, imagining how that would look and feel. Considering looks were the most important thing for pretty much every teenage girl ever, she shook her head, subdued.

"I thought not," Doofenshmirtz crowed, before heading over to the window.

Mavis shuddered, then she felt Perry put his paw on her arm. She smiled weakly at him. "Guess I asked for that, huh."

Perry shook his head, which made her feel a little better.

The sound of Doofenshmirtz laughing drew their eyes over to the evil scientist by the window. "Listen to those fools, as they worship their candy-coloured race car man." He rushed over to his laser and aimed it. "How about a little demonstration of my deflationary prowess?"

Mavis gasped, but neither she nor Perry could do anything to stop the –inator from firing. Craning her neck, Mavis managed to look out the window and spot the ray hit a beach ball, which then deflated and flew onto the windscreen of one of the cars, causing a massive crash.

As Mavis gasped sharply, they clearly heard a female scream.

"Already they fear me, listen to their screams, huh?" Doofenshmirtz grinned. "Imagine the mayhem once my Deflate-inator ray is fully charged!"

He opened the side of the machine and looked inside. Mavis raised an eyebrow when she saw a small mouse running on the wheel inside it. "Run! Run like the wind, my little indentured rodent. And I will give you some cheese."

He went over to the random fridge that seemed to have just appeared out of nowhere and rooted around in it. "Heh, I know I had some around here somewhere…"

From out of his hat, Perry pulled out a briefcase filled with cheeses. Mavis stared at him. "Seriously? You had THAT in your hat?!"

Perry ignored her, grabbing the stinky cheese from its slot and loading it onto a crossbow.

"And a crossbow?!" Mavis blinked a few times in surprise. "Man… Why don't I get anything cool like that?"

Again, Perry ignored her. Doofenshmirtz was muttering to himself, his backside facing the glass dome trap. Mavis's eyes widened as she realised what he was going to do. "You wouldn't…!"

The hint of a smirk on his face, Perry fired the piece of cheese into Doofenshmirtz's pants. Mavis winced and covered her eyes. "I can't watch…"

She heard the mouse squeaking, then a small pause, then Doofenshmirtz began screaming loudly. As it got more high-pitched, the glass suddenly shattered into dozens of little pieces. Mavis raised an eyebrow at Perry. "You're cruel."

For the third time, Perry ignored her. He rushed at Doofenshmirtz and kicked him in the face, sending him flying backwards into the ray, causing it to fire. Mavis rushed to the window and watched as the beam hit a mirror on the ground and reflected back up to the blimp. Which, of course, then began to deflate.

"Hmm." Doofenshmirtz paused. "I suppose I should've seen that coming."

"WHAT?!" Mavis shrieked. "That shouldn't have happened! The mirror was angling DOWN, not UP! The beam should have gone into the ground, NOT UP AT THE BLIMP!"

"Take it up with the writers," Doofenshmirtz suggested, shrugging.

Mavis clenched her fists, but suddenly, the blimp jerked violently, causing Mavis, Perry, and Doofenshmirtz to tumble to the floor. Mavis grabbed the side of the open door to avoid flying out of it.

Over the whistling wind, they heard one of the Swamp Oil 500 announcers yelling, "Oh no! A blimp is about to hit the broadcasting tower! Oh, the HUMANITY!"

Just before the word "humanity", the blimp crashed into something hard and knocked it to the ground with a massive crash. Mavis's head hit the wall very hard upon impact, stunning her. She pressed her fingers to the wound, feeling blood there.

A few seconds later, Perry appeared next to her, concerned. "I'm okay, I'm okay." Mavis pointed out the hole. "Go get Doofenshmirtz."

Perry hesitated, then nodded and jumped out after his nemesis.

Mavis crawled to the hole in the blimp and slid out. One of the announcers came up to her to ask if she was okay, but she covered her injury and lied, "Yeah, I'm fine," and he backed off.

As she made her way out of the stadium, she was met by a handsome blonde boy of about the same age as her. She recognised him as an O.W.C.A. member—he was wearing a white lab coat with the O.W.C.A. insignia on it—but she didn't know who he was. He approached her slowly, a concerned look on his face. "Mavis Monogram?"

Mavis nodded warily. "Yeah…?"

"I'm Doctor Apollo Hastings. I'm with the same people you are."

"Oh…" Mavis blinked. "Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?"

"Yes, yes I am. I'm not a full doctor; that's just my O.W.C.A. title. I wouldn't be able to operate in an ordinary hospital. But I can treat O.W.C.A. agents, and it looks like you need it."

"What?" Mavis self-consciously covered up her bleeding cut. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm guessing you were in the blimp when it crashed? I was watching the race when I saw it happen. Are you sure you don't need help?"

Mavis slowly sighed, before uncovering the injury on her forehead, which promptly began leaking blood down the side of her face. "No, I'm not sure."

"Ooh, that looks nasty." Apollo reached up and touched the side of the wound gently, causing her to blush. "Do you want to come and get it sorted out?"

"O-Okay. It won't need stitches, will it?"

Apollo shook his head. "It shouldn't. But it still needs cleaning and disinfecting. Shall we go over there, then?"

Mavis nodded and followed Apollo to the side. On the way, she got a call on her watch. "Perry, hey. Did you get him?"

Perry nodded. _"Car wash."_

She snickered. "Brilliant. I can't wait to hear all about it."

The platypus gave a smirk, then pointed to his forehead.

"Oh, I'm fine. O.W.C.A.'s doctor is helping me out," Mavis said, her cheeks turning a little red. "Apollo."

 _"_ _Oh, I see."_

"Do you?"

 _"_ _Yep."_

Mavis scowled. "Don't you dare think what I think you're thinking."

She turned off the watch and glanced up at Apollo, who had set up a blanket on the grass outside the stadium. "Hey, Mavis! Come sit over here and we can sort that cut out."

Mavis smiled for the first time in a while as she headed over to him. "Thanks for taking the time, Apollo."

"No problem."


	5. Lights, Candace, Action!

**Lights, Candace, Action!**

Perry and Mavis made their way into their lair together. On the way, Perry glanced up at his partner quizzically and chattered. _"So did you get the hot doctor's number?"_

Mavis scowled but didn't look at him. "He works for O.W.C.A., Perry, I don't need it."

Perry just let out a soft noise that sounded like a snort.

"Shut up."

They reached the lair and sat down in their respective seats. Major Monogram's face appeared onscreen. "There you are, Agent P and Agent M. There's something very strange going on with Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He's been very quiet lately. A little too quiet. I want you to find out what's not going on, and...uh..." He paused. "Put a...stop...to it. I suppose. Good luck, agents."

Perry and Mavis rushed to their hovercar, got into it, and began flying away. As they did, they heard the backing singers sing, _"Agent P!"_

"First off, where do those voices come from?" Mavis demanded.

Perry shrugged.

"Second, why do they do it?"

Perry shrugged again.

"And third, why do they alternate between singing "Agent P" and "Perry"?"

Perry shrugged again.

Mavis scowled at him. "Don't act like that; I KNOW you know."

The platypus didn't respond, so Mavis slumped in her seat and pulled her hat over her eyes. "Why can't I drive? You never let me drive."

 _"_ _Because you're sixteen."_

"So?" demanded Mavis. "I have my learner's permit."

 _"_ _For a CAR."_

"What's the difference?"

Perry ignored her and landed the hovercar outside DEI. They took the elevator up to the top floor and went to Doofenshmirtz's door. "Are you going to kick it in?" Mavis asked.

Perry responded by breaking down the door dramatically and landing in a fighting pose. Doofenshmirtz was sitting in his chair with a book in his lap, and he looked up when Perry came in. "Perry the Platypus?" He sighed. "Why do you keep breaking down my doors? Why don't you knock first?

"It wasn't even locked," Mavis sighed, twisting the shattered doorknob.

"This time, you'll pay!" Doofenshmirtz snapped.

Mavis lowered into a fighting stance, but Perry just got out his wallet and handed over some money to Doofenshmirtz.

"That's right, fork it over." Doofenshmirtz counted the cash. "What? Are you kidding me? This isn't just drywall, you know! It's solid oak!" He snatched more money away from Perry. "That's more like it. You can't just go busting into people's houses for no reason, you know."

"Yeah, Perry," snickered Mavis, earning her a glare from the platypus. "Though it's not like we had NO reason. You ARE an evil scientist, after all."

Doofenshmirtz scowled at her. "Hey, I've given up evil to pursue the art of cheese making."

Mavis snorted. "Seriously?"

Doofenshmirtz nodded eagerly and led them over to a large, stinky cheese on the table. "Do you like stinky Limburger? It's a Doofenshmirtz family recipe. Though it's not ready yet. It still has to age for 58 and 1/2 years."

"That's very specific," Mavis commented. "Who's even got that kind of time?"

"I know, right?" Doofenshmirtz walked over to a large curtain and pulled the rope, revealing a large ray of some kind. "Which is why I created: The Age Accelerator!" He paused briefly. "…-Inator."

He picked up the –inator by its straps and slung it onto his back. Then he headed over to the balcony, followed by Perry and Mavis, and pointed it off. "Now, Perry the Platypus and Agent Mavis, watch carefully as I demonstrate the Age Accelerator-Inator."

He fired the machine at a baby in the playground, causing it to age into a large, hairy adult. Mavis winced and looked away. "That's…just disturbing."

"Hooray, it works!" Doofenshmirtz cheered, before leading the other two over to the cheese. "And now to make some perfectly aged cheese!"

Mavis shielded her eyes as Doofenshmirtz fired the laser at the cheese, creating a powerful smell that was neither pleasant nor unpleasant.

"Ah, perfect!" the evil scientist said gleefully. "You can actually see the pungent aroma."

He cut a piece of the cheese and handed it to Perry. "Here you go, Perry the Platypus. But I'm warning you. Once you start, you won't be able to stop. Want some, Agent Mavis?"

"No, thanks." Mavis paused, before realising that sounded a little rude. "I-I'm lactose intolerant."

That was a total lie, and Perry knew it. He gave her a look, as if to say, _Don't be rude!_ But luckily, Doofenshmirtz didn't seem to realise she was lying. "Oh, I get that, don't worry. Do you want some crackers, then?"

"I like crackers," Mavis said, hardly able to believe that she and Perry were about to sit down and eat cheese and crackers with their nemesis, as if they were best friends.

She followed Doofenshmirtz to his pantry, where they found a packet of crackers. Doofenshmirtz grinned. "We're in luck! I still have some left over Melba Toa-."

He broke off and gasped in horror as they exited the pantry and found the massive wheel of cheese. "Oh no! The cheese! What happened to the stinky cheese?!"

Mavis groaned and buried her head in her hands. "Oh my GOD, Perry!"

Doofenshmirtz gasped again at the sight of his nemesis, the entire wheel of cheese sat in his belly. "Perry the Platypus, you ate all the cheese?! Noooooo!"

"That shouldn't even be possible, but I'm not even going to get started on that." Mavis strode over to Perry and glared at him. "You're such an idiot!"

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz looked like he was about to cry. "I created this for peaceful, cheese loving purposes, but now you forced me to wield it in anger!" He fired it at Mavis and Perry, who both scattered. "Perry the- Perry the Platypus, hold still! Hold still so I can blast you!"

"Hey, hey, whoa!" Mavis yelped, pushing the still-round Perry out of the way of a blast. "Let's just all calm down, okay!"

Doofenshmirtz didn't listen and drove Perry into a corner, pushing Mavis aside roughly when she tried to run and help. "I have you cornered! This time, I will hit you with everything I've got!" He turned the dial on the side up to the 'danger' setting. "Say goodbye, Perry the Platypus!"

"Perry!" Mavis screamed.

She started forwards, but Perry waved his hands, warning her to stay back. A split second later, there was a massive explosion, which sent Mavis flying backwards. She scrambled to her feet and watched the smoke clear, hoping her friend would be alright.

When the room cleared, she blinked in shock at the sight of an elderly Doofenshmirtz and an elderly Perry standing there, all wrinkled and old. "Wait, wait, wait, that's not right," Doofenshmirtz said slowly, and even his voice sounded like he was an OAP.

The –inator fell off his back with a loud thud.

Mavis groaned and buried her face in her hands. "How am I supposed to explain this to my boss?!"

To her surprise, Doofenshmirtz began laughing wheezily. "Perry the Platypus, just- just look at yourself. You really let yourself go."

Perry took hold of his skin and ripped, revealing his young self underneath. The backing singers jubilantly sang, _"Perry!"_

Mavis and Doofenshmirtz both gasped.

"An Age Accelerator-Inator proof suit…?" Mavis asked slowly.

Perry nodded triumphantly.

"Well, I have a little surprise of my own!" Doofenshmirtz declared, preparing to do the same thing as Perry.

However, all he succeeded in doing was ripping all his clothes off, minus his underwear, socks, watch, and inexplicably-appearing glasses. Mavis awkwardly looked up at the ceiling, while Perry just put his hands on his hips.

"Heh…" Doofenshmirtz said awkwardly. "Well, It's already 4:30. I think I'm going to bed." He started walking away. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus."

Mavis and Perry glanced at each other, before letting themselves out. As they headed to the elevator, Perry glanced up at his partner. _"Call that hot doctor friend of yours and ask him out."_

Mavis glared at him. "First of all, his name is Apollo. Second, I'm not gonna do that. I'm fine just being friends. And third, I don't actually have his number."

 _"_ _Should have asked for it, then."_

"Oh, just go back to the sewer already."


	6. Raging Bully

**Raging Bully**

"You didn't need to walk me to the lair, Apollo," Mavis said awkwardly, lacing her fingers together as the two of them walked down the corridor.

Apollo smiled at her. "Oh, it's no problem. I'm just glad your head is feeling better. Besides, I've always wanted to see what an agent's lair looks like, if that's okay."

"Oh, I'm sure Dad won't mind. And if Perry does, I'll just kick his butt."

He chuckled at that. "Can you do that easily, then?"

Mavis shrugged. "Not really. We're pretty evenly matched. The only thing he has over me is more experience."

"Wow. What about strength, seeing as you're a human and he's a platypus?"

"Well…" Remembering an incident last summer, Mavis snorted. "Clearly he's stronger than he looks."

When they entered the lair, Apollo let out a noise of awe. "Wow…! This is a lot bigger than I was expecting. Is this just under a house?"

"Yep. It's under Perry's family's house. There are, like, a dozen different entrances just in the house alone. Apparently, there are over fifty entrances to here all over Danville, in pretty much every place O.W.C.A. expects Perry to have to go."

Apollo whistled. "Whoa. That's incredible."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

Just then, Perry himself appeared, sliding himself down a very dry-looking slide until he hit the bottom. He raised an eyebrow at seeing Mavis and Apollo standing so close together. Mavis glowered at him as she took a step to the side, away from the doctor.

"So…" Apollo shifted his feet awkwardly. "Hi. I'm Apollo Hastings. You must be Perry the Platypus."

Perry chattered. _"Did the fact that I'm a platypus and she just mentioned my name give it away?"_

"Behave," Mavis told him sternly.

Apollo glanced at her amusedly. "You can understand him?" At Mavis's nod, he asked, "What did he say?"

"No offense, but I refuse to be a translator. Just go get the mission, Perry, and I'll meet you by the hovercar."

His eyebrow still raised, Perry headed over to the screen. Mavis sighed. _Great. He teases me about my "hot doctor boyfriend" enough as it is._

She turned to Apollo. "I'll…see you later, then, yeah?"

Apollo smiled. "Sounds great. See you later."

He turned and made his way out of the lair, leaving Mavis to get into the hovercar in a daze. Perry soon got in next to her and began flying the hovercar out of the lair. He glanced at her briefly.

"If you make a single joke about Apollo, I swear to god, I will push you off this hovercar."

Perry let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle, then fell silent.

He landed the hovercar outside a large factory in the shape of a cake. "What are we doing here?" Mavis asked in confusion.

 _"_ _Boss said this is where Doofenshmirtz is."_

"Huh. I wonder what brought him here."

Perry snuck under the wooden planks barring the entrance and made his way into the factory. Mavis rolled her eyes, ducked under the planks, and followed. Suddenly, the ground opened up beneath their feet. Perry was in the middle of the circle so he fell straight down into the pink vat of what looked like cake mix. Mavis managed to save herself, but before she could attempt to save Perry, she felt herself be pushed next to him into the vat of cake mix. "OOF!"

Perry chattered, but Mavis had no time to interpret it because Doofenshmirtz appeared at that moment, laughing. "Perry the Platypus and Agent Mavis! I trapped you in a giant bowl filled to the brim with Doonkelberry cake mix." He glared down at Mavis. "Unfortunately, SOMEONE wasn't decent enough to fall in with you, forcing me to resort to physical violence."

Mavis stuck her tongue out back.

"Why the CAKE mix, you may ask?" Doofenshmirtz held up a large pink cake. "You see, today is my birthday!"

"Have a very lousy birthday," Mavis snapped irritably. "How old are you now? Sixty?"

"I'm forty-seven!" Doofenshmirtz snapped back, before turning to his attention to the struggling platypus in the cake mix. "Struggle all you want, Perry the Platypus. But in 30 to 40 minutes, the yeast will rise, and you'll be buried alive!" He giggled madly, then handed a piece of the cake down to him. "Here, have some. Want some, Agent Mavis?"

Mavis's glare clearly gave him the answer he needed.

He sighed and adopted a sad expression. "Unfortunately, my birthday has always been the lousiest day of the year. It all began on the day of my actual birth." He paused. "Both of my parents failed to show up."

"Oh, my gosh…" Mavis was trying to keep a straight face. "Your mother, who gave birth to you, didn't show up for your birth?! How is that even possible?!"

Doofenshmirtz glared at her. "Don't interrupt! …and also, I don't know."

"Man, you were unloved and unwanted straight out of the womb," Mavis remarked.

"Alright, that was unnecessarily cruel!" Doofenshmirtz scowled. "But you're right. By the age of 5, I was forced to throw my own surprise party. At Gunther Goat Cheese's. The goat-cheesiest place in all of Drusselstein. Many of my closest friends were there: Count Wolfgang, Betty the She-Boar, Raputin, and the licekins: Olga and Chicago Joe."

This time, Mavis couldn't contain her laughter. "I'm sorry; is Drusselstein just one massive kids' cartoon?!"

Doofenshmirtz ignored her. "But one should never walk the paths of Drusselstein with uncovered Doonkelberry cake, lest the Doonkelberry bats swarm."

He sniffled, apparently signifying the end of his flashback. "But this year, I won't be celebrating my birthday alone." He pressed a button on his remote, causing a large screen-type machine to rise up from the ground with Doofenshmirtz on top. "Behold, the Slave-inator! You see, the crowd will do whatever the Slave-inator tells them to do!"

"Wow, really?" muttered Mavis.

He typed something into the keyboard, and the word "clap" appeared on the screen. A split second before, Mavis averted her eyes. She could hear Perry clapping, and she almost joined him. The urge to clap was almost overwhelming.

"I even have a clean-up party button. Because the worst part of a party is the clean-up, am I right?"

The helicopter blades on top of the device began to spin, lifting the –inator up towards the ceiling. "Farewell, Perry the Platypus, and happy birthday to me!"

"Do I even exist?" Mavis snapped.

She watched as the device disappeared through a hole in the ceiling, which then closed up.

"P-Perry, I forgot to mention I'm a little merinthophobic." Mavis began struggling hard. "In case you don't know, that's the fear of being restrained. A-And I think the walls are s-starting to close in on me."

From out of his hat, Perry brought a small pouch full of whistles. He pulled out the bat whistle and blew it, causing Doonkelberry bats to fly through the window and eat the cake mix. As soon as Mavis could move, she scrambled out of the cake mix and onto the side, flopping onto her back. Perry hopped up beside her and chattered. _"You okay?"_

"I'm fine, just go get him. I'll catch up in the hovercar."

Perry nodded, fashioning a makeshift flying device using a fishing rod, the Doonkelberry cake, and the bats.

When Mavis had recovered sufficiently, she ran outside to the hovercar. "Finally, I get to drive," she muttered, hopping into the driver's seat and igniting the engine.

As she flew up towards the massive –inator, she spotted Perry hanging from the side of it by just his little paws. "Perry!" she gasped, slamming her foot on the accelerator.

Doofenshmirtz was hitting Perry's fingers with the keyboard, to Mavis's anger. With one last blow, he made Perry lose his grip. The little platypus began falling soundlessly, but luckily, Mavis was right there. She manoeuvred the hovercar in just the right way so that Perry dropped into the passenger seat. Whooping with delight, Mavis flew the car straight at Doofenshmirtz, who tripped and dropped his ice cream off the side of the platform.

"Ice cream?" Mavis taunted. "What kind of loser would eat ice cream on his birthday?"

It was the lamest insult ever and it didn't even make any sense, but Doofenshmirtz gasped sharply and his eyes began watering. "You…called me…a loser! THAT'S IT! Now you must pay!"

"Take over," Mavis said smugly to Perry, launching herself off the hovercar. She landed and kicked Doofenshmirtz in the chest, sending him stumbling backwards into the base of the helicopter blades. This caused the blades to run out of control, tipping the platform wildly.

Mavis rushed to the side of the platform and jumped off, activating her parachute mid-fall. She landed right in the middle of what looked like a boxing ring, then she dived out of the way as the –inator landed right on top of it, displaying the words "Clean up party mess". Mavis, along with the rest of the people in the stands, obediently cleared up the entire boxing ring and the seats.

Once that was done, Mavis sat down in the grass by the side of the carpark and flopped back, exhausted from the day's events. She looked up and spotted Perry the Platypus in his "mindless" mode, standing alongside his host family: Phineas and Ferb. Mavis chuckled as the green-haired boy Vulcan nerve-pinched a bully that got up in his face.

 _Perry's owners are really something…_

After a moment, she got out her mobile and dialled Apollo's number, which she had stolen from O.W.C.A.'s database.

She was in the mood for some ice cream.


	7. Candace Loses Her Head

**Candace Loses Her Head**

"I've never been to Mount Rushmore before," Mavis told Apollo, both of them lazily leaning against the railing as they viewed the magnificent monument in all its glory.

"I came with my parents and my twin sister once when I was little," Apollo said. "Before my youngest sister was born. I don't remember much about it, though. So it's nice to come back here as a young adult."

In the middle of their chat, they were interrupted by Mavis's watch beeping. The agent sighed. "I'm so sorry, Apollo. I have to go."

"No problem." Apollo smiled. "See you later, maybe."

"Yeah, maybe."

Mavis hurried over to the nearest wall and opened the secret entrance in it, before hopping down into the tube.

Flying down in the tube next to her was Perry the Platypus, who glanced across at her in surprise. She frowned back at him. "What are you doing here?"

 _"_ _Candace's birthday trip,"_ Perry replied. _"You?"_

"A date."

They fell silent for a few minutes, then Perry opened his beak.

"Yes, the hot doctor," Mavis interrupted. "Apollo. We're not a couple yet but we're going out together and seeing how it goes."

 _"_ _Well…congrats."_

"Thanks."

After what seemed like ages, the two of them fell down into their seats, and Major Monogram's face appeared on the screen.

"Good morning, Agent P and Agent M," he said. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to no good again. We just discovered his new hideout is located inside Lincoln's head at Mt. Rushmore."

There was silence for a minute or so, during which time Perry and Mavis stared at each other.

"Are you KIDDING me?" Mavis growled.

"I-I know you were just there." Major Monogram looked more embarrassed than Mavis had ever seen him. "Poor planning on our part, actually. Sorry."

Mavis facepalmed as she and Perry got off their chairs and headed for the hovercar. "Shotgun."

 _"_ _Why do *I* have to drive?"_ Perry complained.

"Because I'm sixteen and apparently my learner's permit only applies to cars."

Perry fell silent, remembering a conversation about this very topic that they had had a few days before.

 _"_ _I don't know who I hate more right now: myself or you."_

"Love you too."

…

"How exactly are we supposed to get in to Lincoln's head?" demanded Mavis, grumpier than usual because she had to postpone her date with Apollo.

Perry responded to this by pulling out a miniature drill and beginning to tunnel down into the stone.

Mavis hissed through her teeth. "If Apollo leaves before I get back to him, you're so dead."

With that, she pulled out her own drill and followed the platypus.

They dropped down into a hollowed-out stone cave that was the same shape as they would have expected the inside of Lincoln's head to look.

Doctor Doofenshmirtz was standing by a large drill-like –inator. He turned as they landed, a grin spreading over his face. "Ah, Perry the Platypus and Agent Mavis! Your timing is impeccable. And by impeccable I mean: COMPLETELY PECCABLE!"

He pressed a button on a small remote, which caused a large glass wall to slam down between him and the two agents. He laughed as Perry and Mavis hit the glass with their fists.

"You're just in time to witness my latest scheme. Behold, my Drill-Inator! I will bore a tunnel to China, build a toll highway, and make millions!"

"Um…" Mavis raised her hand. "I see a MASSIVE problem with that plan."

But Doofenshmirtz ignored her and climbed into the cockpit of the drill, leaning out. "So, as they say in China: arrivederci!"

He slammed the door shut, and the drill began tunnelling down into the ground and disappeared.

"First of all, they say that in Italy." Mavis her eyes. "And second, I'm not the only one who sees the MASSIVE hole in his plan, right?"

Perry didn't respond. Instead, he hopped into his miniature drill and beckoned to Mavis.

"Thank you for waiting this time," Mavis said, getting into her own drill.

Perry chattered. _"Follow me."_

Mavis nodded and carefully manoeuvred her drill after Perry's, down past the bottom of Mount Rushmore and into the Earth. Finally, they dug through the top of Doofenshmirtz's drill and, before the evil scientist could say anything, Perry jumped off the miniature drill and attacked him.

Meanwhile, Mavis rushed to the window and peered out, looking for any signs of what she was desperately hoping she wouldn't see and ignoring the grunts and screeches of Perry and Doofenshmirtz's fight.

She quickly rushed to the controls, dodging the fray, and pulled on the breaks, bringing the drill to a complete stop.

As she was regaining her balance, a computerised voice sounded: "Hull overheating. Hull overheating."

"The molten lava of the earth's core completely slipped my mind," Mavis heard Doofenshmirtz say slowly.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Mavis bellowed at him. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A SCIENTIST!"

Doofenshmirtz glared back at her. "And you're supposed to be a secret agent! Get us out of this mess!"

"I refuse to let you get us into life-threatening situations and then expect us to save you!" Mavis yelled back. "We're here to stop you, not save you!"

While she and Doofenshmirtz argued, Perry jerked on the controls and turned the drill sharply to the left, turning it upwards.

Mavis scrambled over to Perry and leant on the console next to him, breathing heavily. "I hate him so much. He's a SCIENTIST who forgot that there's LAVA in the Earth. Even _I_ know that! I learnt that in third-grade geography!"

"Oh no!" Doofenshmirtz yelled suddenly. "THE LAVA IS FOLLOWING US!"

Mavis looked back and saw that the lava was indeed following them up the tunnel.

"Do something!" Mavis yelled.

Perry rushed over to his small drill and activated it, causing it to tunnel through the floor and away from the bigger drill, letting the lava go down the new hole.

"The lava is being diverted," Mavis breathed. "Thank goodness!"

"You did it, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz cheered "You saved us!"

"He saved himself and me," snapped Mavis. "You just happened to be here."

Doofenshmirtz scowled. "Not this again."

Perry suddenly jerked the drill sharply to the left, cutting a new tunnel and causing both Mavis and Doofenshmirtz to topple over.

"I hate to be a stickler, but the lava is coming AGAIN!" Doofenshmirtz screeched, pressing his face against the window. "FASTER!"

"HE CAN'T GO ANY FASTER OTHERWISE HE'D BE GOING FASTER!" Mavis bellowed back.

Perry sent a chattering noise back over his shoulder: _"Brace yourselves!"_

Mavis dived to the ground, covering her head with her hands. She screamed as she heard the back of the drill get torn away completely. "WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"

The drill jerked as it burst through stone and flew through the air. Trying to ignore Doofenshmirtz's screaming, Mavis grabbed hold of a bar at the back of the drill to stop herself from flying right out of the drill.

"What do we do?!" she yelled to Perry over the sound of the wind.

The platypus responded by letting go and allowing himself to get sucked out of the drill.

"Perry!" screamed Mavis, but before she could panic further, her hands slipped and she fell out of the drill.

She made no noise as she fell, hoping she was close enough to the ground that she wouldn't die from the fall.

But she didn't hit the ground. Instead, she felt herself fall directly into someone's arms, knocking both herself and the person to the ground.

She coughed, rolling off the person and onto her back, breathing heavily.

"Oh my gosh," she choked.

"Mavis, are you okay?" came a familiar worried voice.

Mavis's eyes flew open and focused on the person's face. "A-Apollo?!"

The OWCA doctor helped her sit up, a worried expression on his face. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not hurt," Mavis breathed. "Though I think I'm a little traumatised."

Apollo chuckled softly. "Do you want to go to the gift shop? I hear they've got Mount Rushmore bobbleheads."

"Oh, no, I NEVER want to see this stupid monument again," muttered Mavis.

Apollo chuckled again and helped Mavis to her feet. "What happened?"

On the walk back to the gift shop, Mavis explained the incident. As she was nearing the end of her explanation, she spotted Perry the Platypus parachuting down to the top of the stairs, where his host family was coming down.

She chuckled internally. _Typical Perry._

"I can't believe a scientist of all people forgot that there's lava in the Earth's core," Apollo said.

"I know, right?" Mavis rolled her eyes, then smiled. "Thank you, Apollo. For saving me."

Apollo smiled back. "You're welcome."


	8. I, Brobot

**I, Brobot**

Mavis was very annoyed. Her father had promised her that she would have a free day today and she had been planning to spend it with Apollo. But here she was, in her and Perry's lair, waiting for the platypus agent to arrive so that she could get another mission.

She hadn't even had time to tell Apollo about the mission. He was probably waiting for her at his house right now.

Mavis glanced up as Perry stepped out of the elevator and came to sit down next to her. There was silence for a few seconds, then Mavis asked, "Chimney-vator?"

Perry nodded, looking unusually pleased.

"You like Santa, then?" Mavis asked slowly.

 _"_ _Who doesn't?"_

"I guess that's true…"

Then Major Monogram's face appeared onscreen. "Agents, Doctor Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks. He's made 57 phone calls in the past hour. We don't know to whom, or why."

Perry reached up and pointed towards the elevator he had just come from.

Mavis snorted. "I'm pretty sure he wasn't calling Santa, Perry."

"Agents, your mission is to find out what Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to and stop him."

As Mavis got up and started following Perry over to the hovercar, she heard her father grumble behind her, "See, Carl, that's why I don't like using the chimney-vator. Besides, that guy totally owes me a pony from when I was five."

Mavis snorted again, rolling her eyes. _Typical._

…

"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!" came the familiar jingle.

"Are those guys ever going to quit it?" Mavis sighed as they got into the elevator.

Perry shook his head, giving her a look that said _you'd better get used to it."_

"Great…" Mavis rolled her eyes. "Maybe I'll learn to like it. But if I'm going to be hearing it every day for the rest of the summer, I don't know if that'll be possible."

When they got up to the top floor, they headed over to Doofenshmirtz's door.

"Are you going to break down the door again?" Mavis folded her arms.

Perry shook his head again and took out a key.

"Doofenshmirtz gave you a key to his apartment?" Mavis's eyebrow rose. "Seriously?"

Perry ignored her and unlocked the door, pushing it open to reveal Doofenshmirtz huddled in his chair, a landline phone pressed to his ear. He turned as they came in, sounding rather dejected. "Oh, hi, Perry the Platypus and Agent Mavis. Perry the Platypus, thank you for using the key I gave you. It's much more civilized than crashing through my ceiling, don't you think?"

"Civilised, yes," Mavis responded. "Weird? Also yes."

Doofenshmirtz just shrugged. "Anyway, I-I don't know why you guys are here, but you can tell Monogram that I'm not…uh…"up to anything.""

Mavis crossed her arms again, her eyebrow rising again. "You expect us to believe that?"

Doofenshmirtz scowled at her. "All I've been doing is calling my new girlfriend."

The human agent nearly choked. "YOU have a GIRLFRIEND?!"

"Yes!" Doofenshmirtz snapped defensively. "But we're having what I call a relationship bump. And now, she won't pick up the phone, and I'm tired of leaving messages. I'm tired! I've left, like, 57 messages and, I won't leave any more. It starts to look a little desperate."

"A LITTLE?" Mavis choked again to avoid bursting into laughter. "You have NO idea how to navigate a relationship, do you?"

As Doofenshmirtz opened his mouth to defend himself, Perry cleared his throat and, glaring at Doofenshmirtz, pointed towards a schematic on the evil scientist's computer of a giant magnet.

"What is THAT?" Mavis demanded.

"Hmm?" Doofenshmirtz looked up. "Oh, no, that's not an evil scheme. That's just a giant magnet. I'm going to wave it over my girlfriend's house and erase all the messages I left." He laughed sheepishly. "Because, some of them are long and rambly."

Mavis rolled her eyes. "You know there's an ordinance against that, right?"

"So what?" Doofenshmirtz growled. "Oh well, too bad for you!" He slammed a button on his phone, bringing down a net that scooped up the two agents and suspended them in the air. "Too bad you don't believe in love!" He rushed out the room, slammed the door, and a few seconds later, there was the sond of a truck engine revving. "Too bad!" came Doofenshmirtz's distant voice.

"He's such a weirdo," growled Mavis. "Don't worry, I got this."

She took out her penknife and cut through the rope net, releasing the two agents. "Ha! I saved us, for once!"

Perry tipped his hat briefly to her, before the two of them hopped back into the hovercar and flew after the truck.

As they were flying, Mavis glanced around the neighbourhood. "Is this where his girlfriend lives?"

 _"_ _I guess so. Why?"_

"Apollo lives round here too," Mavis replied. At Perry's look, she scowled at him. "I went to his house ONCE. Don't turn it into something it's not. And I was supposed to be there again today, but SOMEONE couldn't stop himself from being a pathetic "evil" scientist."

Perry quickly landed the hovercar nearby and rushed out into the road, holding out his spy badge to stop the truck in its tracks.

"Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz slammed on the brakes. "How did you escape my net?"

"Every girl should carry around a penknife," Mavis replied, holding up the aforementioned penknife as she stepped into place just behind Perry.

Doofenshmirtz stared at her. "How long have you had that?"

"Since the first day of summer. And with the way the summer's been going, I'm surprised I haven't had to use it before now."

"Mavis, there you are!" came Apollo's voice suddenly.

Mavis spun round to see Apollo himself coming running down the road, skidding to a halt beside her.

"What are you doing?" Mavis hissed.

"Looking for you," Apollo replied nervously, glancing up at the magnet. "THAT…is a giant magnet."

"No kidding!" Mavis gave him a shove. "Get out of here before you get hurt."

"Who's this?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "Your boyfriend?"

"What's it to you?" Apollo demanded.

"Shut up and go away!" snapped Mavis.

"ALL of you pesky agents get out of the way!" growled Doofenshmirtz. "Don't make me drop this giant magnet on you!"

Despite a sudden burst of fear, Mavis stood her ground, just like Perry did. She didn't dare look round for Apollo.

"Well, then, as a lazy tailor would say: suit yourself!"

He flipped a switch, and the magnet began to creak.

In the few seconds it was falling, Mavis and Apollo both dropped to their knees and clutched each other tightly.

But then there came a clanging noise and inexplicable Christmas-like music began playing. Mavis hesitantly opened her eyes and spotted a familiar sleigh carrying the magnet away.

"But that doesn't make any sense!" Mavis gasped. "It's the middle of July!"

"Ho, ho, ho! I'm on a summer run!" Santa called over his shoulder, beaming and waving. "Farewell, Perry the Platypus!"

"Wow, invisible even to Santa," Mavis muttered under her breath.

"Bah, humbug," Doofenshmirtz sighed.

As Perry went up to the truck, Mavis and Apollo helped each other to their feet, aware that both of them were holding hands.

"I told you to leave," Mavis said reproachfully. "You could have died a minute ago."

"So could you," Apollo countered. "But we didn't."

"Yeah, THIS time."

 _"_ _Hey."_ Perry hopped down from the truck and came to stand in front of the two teenagers. _"I'll never let you get killed, Mavis."_ He eyed Apollo. _"Or you, I guess."_

Mavis chuckled. "Thanks, Perry."

"Wait, what did he say?" Apollo asked, frowning in confusion.

Chuckling again, Mavis patted him on the shoulder. "I'll teach you how to understand him sometime, okay?"

 _"_ _Don't you dare,"_ Perry protested.

Mavis smirked and ruffled his hat. "Love you, Perry."

 _"_ _Mavis, if you teach Apollo how to understand me, I won't be able to talk about him when he's around."_

"Okay, okay." Mavis squeezed Apollo's hand briefly. "Wanna go get ice cream? I'll buy."

"Absolutely. Thank you." Apollo smiled at her, and she smiled back.

 _"_ _Yes, please. That's very kind of you,"_ Perry chimed in.

"Not you, Beaver Tail."

 _"_ _Rude."_


	9. Run Away Runway

**Run Away Runway**

"All I'm saying is I think that guy could tone down his colours a bit," Apollo said, tapping the magazine's two-page image.

Mavis shot a scandalised look at him. "First of all, "that guy" is Gaston Le Mode, the BEST fashion designer in the entire world. And second, the colours are an INTEGRAL part of what makes his fashions so amazing. It's like...um…" Mavis frowned as she tried to think up a good way to explain what she was thinking. "He's like the Picasso of fashion designers. He makes art and people wear it."

Apollo chuckled. "And just like Picasso's art, it's extremely avant-garde."

"Ava what?"

"Avant-garde. It basically means nontraditional, maybe a bit weird or exotic."

"Ohh." Mavis nodded and snatched the magazine from Apollo. "Gaston Le Mode is DEFINITELY avant-garde, then. If that's a compliment." Before Apollo could agree or disagree, she added, "Man, Dad and Perry are taking AGES."

"It's only two minutes past nine," Apollo said, after checking his watch. "I'm sure they'll be here soon."

As if on cue, the screen sparked to life and revealed...an image of Mavis's father in his jacket and underwear. "Testing, testing, one, two, thr-." He broke off as he spotted Mavis and Apollo. The former was bright red with embarrassment and hiding her eyes, while Apollo was also averting his gaze but trying not to laugh. "A-Agent Mavis, you're early! CARL!" he barked. "Cut to close up!"

The camera zoomed in until it was the normal view. Mavis let out a low groan and didn't even notice Perry jumping onto the chair next to her until her father said, "Good morning, Agent P."

"Well, I'd better go," Apollo said, resisting giving Mavis a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck, you two."

"Actually, Doctor Apollo, I'd like you to go with Agent P and Agent M," Major Monogram said. "It's time you started your training as a field medic, and there's no better pairing of agents you could possibly be with."

"O-Oh, wow…!" Apollo cleared his throat, unsure whether to be excited or terrified. "Thank you, sir. I'll do my best."

"Good." Major Monogram turned back to Perry and Mavis. "Now for your assignment. Basically, Doofenshmirtz has been acting up again. He's stockpiling the usual strange and unrelated things. This time, it's copy machines and ink cartridges by the thousands. We need you to find out what's going on right away."

As the screen flickered to black, the three agents headed wordlessly to the hovercar.

As they were taking off, Perry glanced back at the two teenagers and, finding them both staring down at the ground, rolled his eyes. " _What's the matter with you both?"_

"We...can't tell my dad about our relationship," Mavis replied slowly. "He wouldn't approve of his daughter dating an OWCA doctor."

" _Why not?"_

"First of all, he thinks I'm too young for dating. Second, he thinks even dating an OWCA agent is too dangerous, let alone actually being part of OWCA. And third...it's kinda against the rules for agents to date each other."

" _Oh, yeah, I think I heard about that rule…"_

"It's a shame," Apollo murmured.

Perry glanced curiously at his partner. " _Then why are you risking it? If you get caught, Monogram will kick you and probably Apollo too out of OWCA."_

"Yeah, I know." Mavis gave a sideways smile at Apollo, who smiled back and took her hand. "Some things are worth the risk."

Perry looked back ahead and didn't respond. There was silence in the hovercar from then on until…

"Doofenshmirtz Evil Dirigible!"

"That's new," Mavis snorted. "He's in a blimp now?"

"Being high off the ground adds a certain amount more danger," said Apollo. "We'll have to be extra careful."

Perry shot his partner a glance. " _Is he going to be a walking risk assessment every mission?"_

"Be nice," Mavis said sternly. "And try not to show off."

" _Me? Show off? Me?"_

Mavis failed to hold back a smile. "Shut up and get down there. I'll land."

Perry tipped his hat to her, then leapt off the side of the car. Mavis immediately took his place in the driver's seat and piloted the vehicle downwards. She landed it on the top of the blimp, noticing a crack in the top where Perry had assumedly gone through. She dropped neatly down and landed on the hard floor next to Perry, facing Doofenshmirtz, who was standing by the controls.

"Agent Mavis too!" Doofenshmirtz threw his hands up. "You OWCA agents have no-!"

He broke off as they heard a loud yelp, then Apollo came flailing through the gap and crashed onto the ground. Perry turned away to hide a smirk, while Mavis extended a hand and helped Apollo to his feet.

"THREE of you now?" Doofenshmirtz stared at the new arrival. "Hang on, I know you, right?"

"You nearly dropped a giant magnet on me," Apollo said.

"OHH, yeah! Man, good times, right?"

Apollo shrugged. "It literally happened yesterday."

"Whatever." Doofenshmirtz grinned maniacally and slammed his fist down on a button on his console. Immediately, two robotic arms flew up from the ground. One of them wrapped duct tape around Perry, while the other one did the same around Mavis and Apollo, taping the two together back-to-back.

"Bad day to come along for the ride, Blondie," snickered Doofenshmirtz.

Mavis was concentrating on finding a way to get out of their predicament so she didn't allow herself time to feel awkward or embarrassed. Apollo, on the other hand, was blushing furiously and trying not to meet anyone's eyes.

"Anyway, you must be wondering what I'm doing in a blimp all the way up here, right?" Doofenshmirtz strode over to a machine sitting in the corner. "Let me show you my evil scheme. I call it the Copy-and-Paste-Inator!" He turned to face them, preparing for what was sure to be another long-winded story. "Now, there's nothing I hate than waiting in line. All the time wasted in stores, and amusement parks, where I could be spreading more evil in the Tri-State Area! My evil plan is this: I will make copies of myself, and they will do the waiting for me. Awesome, right?"

There was a short pause, broken by Apollo saying, "To be fair, I'd probably do that if I was smart enough."

"Thanks!" Doofenshmirtz beamed. "I like you, kid."

"Considering my current situation, I can't say I reciprocate."

Doofenshmirtz's beam turned into a snicker. "Your face looks like a tomato."

"Because I'm tied back-to-back with someone I've only known a week at most," Apollo retorted.

"Oh, wow." Doofenshmirtz cocked his head. "So are you two going out, or something? Agent Mavis doesn't look as embarrassed as you do." Before either of the teens could stammer out a reply, he continued, "Well, whatever. Get ready to witness the might of my Copy-and-Paste-inator!"

He lay down in the tanning machine part of the contraption and lowered the cover over himself.

"Don't engage with him, Apollo!" hissed Mavis, when she was sure their nemesis couldn't hear. "You're just giving him ammunition!"

Apollo winced. "Sorry, I got a bit nervous. I don't do well in stressful situations."

Perry shot him a look. " _You entered the wrong profession, then."_

"I mean, I don't do well in stressful situations out in the field," amended Apollo, sensing his mistake. "I can perform surgery and treat a critically injured patient with not much trouble, but I'm not used to being tied up in a blimp with a madman who has a cloning machine."

"Fair enough," Mavis admitted. "You'll get better as time goes on. You just need practise."

At that moment, Doofenshmirtz let out a scream, giving all three agents a fright. He pushed the cover off him and sat up, his entire body blackened, including his face and hair. "I think I just tanned my eyeballs!"

"Maybe you should have...I don't know... _closed your eyes?_ " Mavis snorted.

"Ugh." Doofenshmirtz shook his head, shaking the soot off him. "Now, with the push of a button, I will make history!" He laughed maniacally and hit a button on the machine, pulling out the first few clones. "Oh, needs a little more toner. Ugh, copy jam…" Staring at the last, deformed clone he was holding, Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes. "Why is it when people copy their butts, it comes out perfect?"

All three agents shrugged in unison.

While Doofenshmirtz was copying more perfect copies of himself, Perry shuffled over to Mavis and Apollo. " _Get my hat off."_

Mavis managed to maneuver her hand into the right position to grab Perry's hat and hold it in such a way that Perry could root around inside it. Relief flooding all three of them, Perry pulled out a pair of scissors and handed them to Mavis, who started cutting the tape binding her to Apollo.

"You see, Perry the Platypus!" came Doofenshmirtz's voice suddenly. "A whole army of Doofenshmirtzes! Perfect copies of me!"

Mavis realised with a jerk that he had already printed out a literal army of clones, who were all just standing around, chatting amongst themselves, in the opposite end of the blimp.

"Now go, my copies!" Doofenshmirtz yelled, opening the side door to reveal the sky and a long drop. "Grab me some corn dogs! Fetch me some movie tickets! Go ride that new rollercoaster a couple of times!"

"I'm literally in a horror movie," groaned Apollo. "This is getting dangerously close to being my worst nightmare."

Perry stared at the young doctor. " _Your worst nightmare is being wrapped in tape on a blimp three hundred feet up with hundreds of Doofenshmirtz clones?"_

Mavis shot a glance at her nemesis. "Yours isn't?"

" _Okay, to be fair, this is pretty nightmarish."_

As the clones began to jump out of the blimp, Doofenshmirtz encouraged them. "Go, go, my facsimiles! Go wait in line so I never have to!"

He turned back to the others and laughed. "Aren't they adorable?"

"That's one word for them," Apollo responded slowly.

"Hey, how about you lot jump and fetch me something too, huh?" Doofenshmirtz strode across the room, causing Mavis to panic and let go of the scissors. He grabbed the tape binding them and pulled the two painfully across the room, ignoring the protests. "Something like...hmm...YOUR DOOM!"

With that, he shoved the two teens out of the blimp.

Apollo immediately began screaming, but Mavis knew she had to focus. Perry wasn't here, so their rescue was on her shoulders. She wrenched herself away from Apollo, snapping the already cut tape, and slung her parachute pack onto her back. Grabbing hold of Apollo, she pulled the release cord and braced herself.

Apollo's screams were cut off as the parachute jerked upon opening, which almost caused Mavis to lose her grip on Apollo, but she held tight. Keeping silent, she just listened to Apollo's terrified gasps and tried to catch her own breath.

Finally, they landed lightly on their feet outside the Googolplex Mall. Mavis let the parachute recoil back into its pack and immediately almost fell forwards, her legs shaking so much she could barely stand up.

Apollo DID fall forwards, but Mavis was able to catch him, and the two supported each other as the ordinary mall sounds floated into their ears, as if the two teens hadn't just fallen three hundred feet.

"I'm quitting OWCA," Apollo breathed.

"No you're bloody well not," Mavis snapped huskily. "You can't let one near-death experience dictate your entire career."

"As I recall, this is the second day in a row I've had a near-death experience with you," retorted Apollo. "And only on one of those days was I actually on a mission."

Mavis narrowed her eyes. "Are you blaming me?"

"I don't know." Apollo lifted his arms to the sides and dropped them. "Okay? I don't know! My brain's still trying to reboot after falling out a BLIMP!"

After a pause, Mavis forced herself to inhale and exhale deeply. "I'm sorry. I tend to let my emotions get the better of me at the best of times, let alone when I and someone I care about nearly died."

Nodding slowly, Apollo reached out and pulled Mavis gently into a hug. Mavis rested her chin on his shoulder, trying to resist the urge to sob hysterically. As it was, a few tears escaped from her eyes. When she awkwardly pulled away, she was surprised to see Apollo had wet cheeks as well. The two teens chuckled weakly as they wiped their faces with the backs of their sleeves.

Catching sight of the small teal shape out the corner of her eye, Mavis turned and saw Perry running towards them. She knelt down and met him as he tackled her in a hug.

"We're okay, Perry," she chuckled. "I got the parachute open in time."

" _I'm sorry I couldn't save you."_

Mavis's smile disappeared as she heard the sadness and guilt in Perry's chatter. "Buddy, it's okay. If I'm going to be a proper OWCA agent, I need to learn how to save myself in nine out of ten situations. Besides, you had to deal with Doof. What happened with that, by the way?"

" _He accidentally deleted all his clones. I didn't even do anything."_

Mavis couldn't suppress a snort. "Wow. Hard to believe that same guy pushed two teenagers out of a blimp a few minutes before."

Perry nodded, the hint of a grin on his face. " _Well, I'm gonna head back to my family. Enjoy the rest of your day."_

"You too," Mavis responded, turning back to Apollo. "Well, we're at the mall. What do you want to do?"

"I want to eat my weight in slushy dogs and talk about Gaston La Mode," replied Apollo.

Mavis grinned. "Sounds perfect."


	10. The Magnificent Few

**The Magnificent Few**

"Don't you think they're eventually going to get suspicious of us?" Apollo asked. "I mean, we show up in every place they do. The same two teenagers in exactly the same place as them every time."

"Dad said to do surveillance on Perry and his family, so that's what we're doing," said Mavis, pushing her sunglasses further up her nose. "I'm sure they won't recognise two randoms they might have seen briefly at Mount Rushmore one time."

"I'm not talking about today, necessarily. I mean in the future."

"Well, I'm sure Dad will eventually start trusting Perry to be able to look after them sufficiently, but for now, we have to just shut up and do what we're told."

"Do we have to do the shut up part?" Apollo asked innocently. "I rather like talking to you."

Mavis rolled her eyes amusedly. "I guess it'd look weird if we stood here in silence. Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

However, at that precise moment, her watch began to beep. Sighing, she answered the call. "Sir."

"Agent M, good." Major Monogram's face filled the tiny screen. "Doctor Doofenshmirtz is up to no good again. Not only does he have 3 books about insects overdue at the library, but he's cornered the market on aluminum siding. He's holed up on his water fortress on Lake Winimahatikihaha." He snickered. "I love saying that. Anyway, you must find out what he's up to and put a stop to it. Agent P is already en-route."

Mavis nodded. "Will do, sir. Am I taking Apollo this time, or…?"

"Yes, take him with you. Over and out."

Mavis lowered her wrist, giving Apollo a sheepish smile. "I doubt he'd be letting you come with me this time if he knew what happened yesterday."

"Thank goodness he doesn't," Apollo chuckled. "He doesn't need to know how far we fell; only that we stopped Doof. Or, rather, he stopped himself."

"Exactly. Now, let's head out."

…

"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!"

Mavis parked the jetski at the base of the hideout and hopped off, extending a hand to help Apollo off as well.

Then there came the roar of another jetski, this one being driven by Perry the Platypus himself. The vehicle zoomed to a halt in front of Mavis's, and the platypus jumped off.

"Ready?" Mavis asked.

Perry nodded, then beckoned. The three agents ran up the ramp towards the large door, which was already open, clearly for them. Perry led the way into the base, immediately coming face to face with Doofenshmirtz and a brown-haired teenage girl behind him.

"Ah, if it isn't the Monoteam!" Doofenshmirtz grinned, then sighed at the blank looks on the three agents' faces. "Come on, I worked ages on that name. Monoteam? As in Monogram? And it also sounds like "monotreme"? And you're a team?"

"I like it," Apollo said unexpectedly.

"Good, THANK you!" Doofenshmirtz stepped aside and indicated the teenage girl behind him. "Anyway, let me introduce to you my assistant, Vanessa."

Vanessa scrutinised the three. Mavis smiled briefly, Apollo gave a wave, and Perry showed no reaction whatsoever.

Just as Mavis was wondering if she was going to do anything, Vanessa said, "Whatever," and put in a pair of earphones.

In the ensuing silence, the faint buzzing of music was audible from the device in her hand.

Doofenshmirtz laughed nervously. "Heh...she's new. Anyway…"

A cage suddenly dropped from the ceiling, and scooped the three agents up into the air. Apollo automatically grabbed Mavis's arm, and though neither of them properly registered this, Perry did.

Doofenshmirtz spread his arms wide. "At this very moment, termites all over the Tri-State Area are being controlled by me! Using my Termite Controlling Helmet." He took out a jar of the insects and held up a magnifying glass, showing the three agents that each of the termites also had little helmets on. "See? See? The have cute little helmets just like me." He gave a weak chuckle. "I don't want to tell you how long it took to put them all on. So, watch this!"

He emptied the jar onto a piece of wood and, within a few seconds, it had been turned into a carving of his head.

"Hey, that's pretty cool," Apollo said genuinely. "Could they do one of Perry?"

The platypus blinked. _"Excuse me?"_

"You bet they could!" Doofenshmirtz said proudly, taking out another piece of wood.

Perry shot Mavis a scowl as the termites worked. _"Get your boyfriend under control."_

Mavis shook her head back. "I think it's cute, look."

Doofenshmirtz walked over to the cage and handed the small statue of Perry up to Apollo through the bars. "Here ya go. Any more requests?"

Perry rolled his eyes. _"Maybe just get on with your scheme?"_

"Maybe just get on with it," Mavis echoed.

"Oh, right." Doofenshmirtz stepped back and got back into his evil pose. "Soon I will have them devour all the wood in the entire Tri-State Area. Then everyone will have to buy Aluminum Siding from me!"

"Doofenshmirtz' Aluminum Siding!" sang the familiar band from right next to the cage, giving the two human agents a fright.

"So this is a money scheme, not a revenge scheme?" Mavis asked. "I feel like all your schemes fall into one of those two categories."

 _"And don't forget laziness,"_ Perry said.

"Oh, yeah. Money, revenge, or laziness."

"Hey!" Doofenshmirtz scowled, but it soon fell. "Well, to be fair, I can't really argue with that. Yeah, this scheme is all about getting rich, baby! And also, eliminating you three."

"Didn't you do enough of that when you pushed us out of a blimp yesterday?" demanded Apollo.

The evil scientist snorted. "Man, you GOTTA get over that. Anyway, you're through, Monoteam. Through! Are you ready to meet your doom?"

"No," Mavis and Apollo said at the same time.

"Well, TOO BAD!"

With that, Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa left the room through the sliding door. Then the floor beneath them began to open up, revealing bubbling lava underneath. Apollo let out a choked scream and grabbed Mavis's arm again, while Mavis herself began trying to pick the lock on the outside of the cage.

"Why is he so intent on killing two teenagers and a platypus?!" Apollo shrieked. "We may be secret agents but he's trying to straight-up murder us!"

Perry, who was currently trying to squeeze through the bars, shot him a look. _"You really need to learn how to be more calm under pressure, dude."_

"Give him a break, it's his second mission," Mavis responded, managing to keep her own panic under control. "Anyone got anything we can use?"

 _"If I can just get out of this cage, I might be able to reach that control panel over there."_

A few seconds later, however, the screens around the edge of the room flickered to life, revealing an image of Doofenshmirtz with Vanessa standing in the background, not looking particularly bothered.

"Anyone got any last words to share?" The evil scientist snickered. "What about you, Perry the Platypus? Any last noises? You know, that silly chirping noise that you make?"

 _"Silly? Now that's just plain rude."_

"Yeah, that's the one!"

"Perry," hissed Mavis. "I can get you out the cage if you come over here."

Perry maneuvered through the cage over to Mavis, who had managed to pry the cage door open a tiny bit, creating a big enough gap for the platypus to squeeze through. Once he was on the outside of the cage, he used the bars to make his way around to the other side, then performed a risky jump over to the console, only just making it without falling into the lava.

"Hey!" complained Doofenshmirtz. "No fair!"

Apollo opened his mouth to retort but Mavis squeezed his arm, silencing him.

"Wait, don't touch that button!" the evil scientist yelped. "No, the other one. Yes, that one! That's the one you should not touch!"

Perry pressed the button. Immediately, the whole base began to shake.

"Self-destruct sequence initiated," said the AI voice.

"Now you've gone and done it!" Doofenshmirtz wailed.

"You put a self-destruct button in a death chamber?" Vanessa huffed. "I'm so out of here. This is the worst Bring-your-daughter-to-work-day ever."

"I should have known," muttered Mavis.

"Tell your mother you had fun, though," Doofenshmirtz called after her.

Vanessa's voice drifted in from offscreen. "Oh, by the way, I'm taking the last escape pod."

Inside the cage, Mavis had only just realised what imminent danger she and Apollo were in. She desperately began pushing the cage door, trying her hardest to break it open.

"Perry, get rid of the lava!" she yelled. "And look for a key!"

Apollo anxiously waited behind her. "W-What should I do?!"

"Help me get the door open!"

While the two teenagers were hitting the door, Perry found the switch to close the metal doors over the lava. Breathing a quiet sigh of relief, he grabbed a jetpack that happened to be sitting nearby and flew over to the cage at Mavis's line of sight. _"What do you need me to do?"_

"Just go and get Doof out of here," Mavis ordered him. "We'll follow."

Perry hesitated. _"You sure?"_

"Positive, now go!"

As the platypus reluctantly flew off on the jetpack, Mavis threw all her weight against the door, which finally flew open, causing her momentum to send her toppling to the floor. She landed hard on her arm and let out a muted wince.

"Mavis!" Apollo gasped.

"Jump down, quickly!" hissed Mavis, stumbling to her feet.

The doctor did so, landing lighter than Mavis had. "How do we get out of here?"

"One minute until detonation," said the AI at that moment.

"This way!"

Mavis grabbed Apollo's hand and pulled him towards the door. The two ran through the base, seemingly getting higher and higher, until they opened a hatch above them and found themselves on the very top of the base.

"What are we doing up here?!" yelped Apollo.

"Ten," said the AI. "Nine. Eight. Seven."

Mavis let out a growl, forced to make a split second decision. She pulled Apollo towards the edge and jumped; her grip on Apollo's hand was strong enough to yank him after her. The two teens dropped like stones into the water. As soon as they went under, the base exploded above them, the deafening sound muted by the water.

Apollo was the first to break the surface, flailing as he tried to remember how to tread water. Just as he began to look round for Mavis, she too broke the surface, gasping in air.

"You okay?" she coughed.

"Traumatised for the second time in two days, but I'm unhurt," the doctor responded shakily. "You?"

"Same. And now I can say I share your previous question."

"Which one?"

"I really would like to know why Doof keeps insisting on trying to murder two teenagers and a platypus."

Despite the situation, that made both of them laugh aloud.

"I hope Perry made it out okay," Mavis said after a moment. "Knowing him, he's probably back with his host family right now. Anyway, let's get out of here and go get ice cream or something."

"You know what?" Apollo let out a sigh. "I think I'm all adventured out for one day."

"Me too, actually. Wanna go lie in my backyard and stare at the sky?"

"Yes, PLEASE."


	11. S'Winter

**Author's Note: apologies for the fairly long chapter this time. It feels too long to be one chapter but two short to split into two, so here it is: all 2000 words of it lol**

...

 **S'Winter**

"I'm melting into the ground," Mavis groaned, lying spread-eagled on the grass. "I'm literally melting into the ground."

"I feel like my hair is on fire," said Apollo, lying next to her in the same position. "I think the sun set my hair on fire."

" _What are you two doing?"_ came the familiar chatter.

"Melting," replied Mavis.

Perry folded his arms. " _Come on. There's a mission waiting for us."_

"Fine."

Mavis reluctantly got to her feet. She was wearing only a tank top and shorts-and a pair of flip-flop sandals-but she still felt like she wanted to peel her skin off. Apollo, on the other hand, was wearing his normal lab coat over a t-shirt and shorts, which was a fairly odd ensemble. But he disliked having to take his lab coat off, so clearly this outfit was here to stay.

Once they had taken an elevator down to Perry's lair, the agents found that there was now an extra chair in front of the monitor, making three altogether: one small chair for Perry and two larger ones, presumably for both Mavis and Apollo, the latter of whom nearly choked up when he saw it.

Perry grinned and gave Apollo a nudge. " _Looks like you're a proper member of the team now, doc."_

"Monoteam for the win!" Mavis crowed.

" _Are we really going to let Doof name our team?"_

"You have to admit, it's a cool and clever name."

Perry shrugged, sliding into his chair. " _Sure."_

"I hope you guys will remember one day that I don't understand what Perry's saying," Apollo said, sitting down in the chair on the edge of the group. "I don't speak platypus...ese."

" _That's not a real thing."_

"Sorry, I'll have to remember to be an interpreter," Mavis snickered.

Just then, the monitor flickered to life, Major Monogram's face filling the screen as it always did. "Good morning, agents."

"Morning, sir," chorused Mavis and Apollo.

"I'll get right to it. This time, we're worried about Doofenshmirtz buying laser pointers. I mean, 2 or 3 of them would be fine, but he just put in an order for 18,000 of them."

Apollo's eyebrows rose. "What could he possibly want with so many?!"

"We don't know, but only a crazed, evil, and diabolical mind would do that. You know what to do by now, agents. Monogram out."

As the screen went black, the three agents hopped up. "What are we taking this time?" Apollo asked, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. "Hovercar? Jetpacks? Scooter?"

"Jetpacks," Mavis said, backed up by Perry's nod. "Do you know how to use these?"

"I did a course as part of my training to become a field medic," Apollo said. "So yeah, I do."

"Good. Buckle up."

…

" _Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!"_

"La la la, la la la, la la la LAAAAA," sang Mavis in time with the jingle, exchanging a smirk with Apollo.

"Look down there," Apollo said suddenly, pointing at a platypus-sized door in the side of the building. It had a large arrow pointing at it that said _Doofenshmirtz Secret Hideout_ on it, and another on the other side that said _DO NOT ENTER._

"That's the most obvious trap I've ever seen in my life," snorted Mavis. "Where should we go, Perry?"

" _There's a door round the back. I don't think it'll be trapped, so we should use that."_

"Lead the way."

So the platypus did. They landed in front of a scruffy-looking back door and, after ditching their jetpacks, entered the building. A woman who looked like some kind of maid gave them a wave as they went through to the main room, where they found Doofenshmirtz laughing maniacally at a large piano suspended by a rope over the inside of the doorway that the agents had seen earlier.

"It's genius!" He grinned and turned to the agents without properly registering their presence. "Am I right?"

At Perry's shrug, he did a double-take. "Oh, come on! I told Nancy to keep the back door locked!" He sighed, then held up a tape recorder and spoke into it: "Note to self. My evil deed for tomorrow: fire the maid." He sighed again and put the recorder away, then registered all three agents staring at him. "What are _you_ looking at?"

"The weirdest person to ever live on this planet," Mavis replied simply.

Doofenshmirtz shrugged. "Whatever. I'm just gonna go ahead and trap you."

He pulled a lever, causing Perry to be doused in a brown, sweet-smelling liquid, which quickly hardened and froze him in place. Before either of the teens could move, a pull of the lever next to the first one caused metallic arms to come out of the ground and grab them around the waist, lifting them a few feet in the air.

"Hey!" complained Mavis. "Why don't we get the same trap as Perry? Am I not as much of a threat to you?"

"Well, I…" Doofenshmirtz hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. "Remember that whole Slave-inator thing a few days ago?"

"Yeah…?"

"Well, I reviewed the footage later that day to see how you two escaped and I heard you say something. You said you were merin...meritho…meri-something."

"Merinthophobic," corrected Mavis.

"Yeah, that. The fear of being restrained. Well, I decided that from then on, all the traps I made for you would be less restrictive. I don't want you to faint in the middle of the scheme, or something. I may be an evil scientist but I'm not cruel."

"Oh…" Mavis blinked, a lump starting to form in her throat. "That… That's really nice of you…"

Doofenshmirtz cleared his throat. "Yeah… I mean, plus, Perry the Platypus is smaller and more slippery so I had to design traps for him that would be harder to escape from. Not that he won't escape from that, anyway."

"Yeah, what IS that?" Mavis asked, gesturing towards the still-frozen platypus.

"Oh, that? It's my special recipe for quick-hardening chocolate. It actually relates really well to my scheme today, because... well… Between you and me, my popularity has plummeted to an all-time low." He pulled down a chart and showed the agents a graph, apparently depicting his low popularity. "But everybody loves chocolate! What if I could recreate chocolate in my own image? Behold!" He pressed a button, causing a large device to rise from the floor. It looked like some kind of laser, with a magnifying glass on the end. "The Melt-inator 6500! Powered by thousands of laser pointers! It has a melting capacity...of SEVEN!"

Mavis and Apollo exchanged a glance. "Seven…?" echoed the latter.

"Hey, that's on a scale of 1-5, so that's a big number. Here, watch this."

He activated the laser, causing the entirety of the nearest chocolate shop to melt. The liquid chocolate then started to flow into the drains. "Collect my harvest through the city streets, where it will be processed with my secret ingredients to produce the most irresistible confection in the Tri-State Area. Now do you understand what you are up against? Perry the Platypus, did you understand all that?"

Surprisingly, Perry didn't respond.  
"Come on, you didn't get any of that?" Doofenshmirtz sighed heavily. "Okay, I will start again."

"Do you have to?" groaned Mavis.

Doofenshmirtz ignored her. "First of all, my popularity is an all-time low. You got that, right? Okay. Then-"

While the evil scientist was talking, Apollo turned to Mavis and whispered, "I didn't know you have merinthophobia."

"I don't really talk about it," the agent whispered back. "It's been strangely dormant so far, apart from the time Doof mentioned. That really wasn't fun."

"Well, I'm really hoping I don't end up bumping into one of my greatest fears this summer. I'm both pyrophobic and nyctophobic."

"Fire and…?"

"The dark." Apollo chuckled quietly. "I've lost sleep over those fears many times."

As Mavis was looking for something to say in reassurance, Doofenshmirtz's voice filtered back in. "-with my Melt-inator 6500. There. Did you get it that time?"

"He can't get much, idiot," Mavis snapped. "He's frozen in chocolate."

"Well, whatever. I'm not going over it again. It's finally time to get started." He turned to the monitor, which displayed a video of a truck driving along a road, carrying a massive chocolate bar. "At this very moment, the world's largest chocolate bar is passing through town on the way to The Smithsonian, but it will never arrive! I will activate my machine in five...four...three…" He paused briefly. "Two… two and a half… two and a quarter…"

"What are you waiting for?" demanded Mavis.

"Is that it?" Doofenshmirtz shot Mavis a look, then gave Perry the same look. "Is that…? You're not going to do anything? You're all just going to stand there like a dead fish?"

Mavis shrugged. She was hoping that Perry had a plan, otherwise Doofenshmirtz would get away with his scheme and she would have just let it happen. Her nerves were beginning to mount, but she held her ground.

"I'm giving you a chance to do something here!" Doofenshmirtz complained. "Oh, this used to be more fun."

"Mavis…?" muttered Apollo. "What are we doing…?"

"Perry has a plan," Mavis said quietly back. "I know he does."

"One and a half...one and a quarter…" Doofenshmirtz threw his hands up. "You know, in some cultures, it's considered rude not to particip-"

He broke off as Perry swung in from nowhere and kicked him to the ground, before pulling the lever which released Mavis and Apollo.

"Perry the Platypus?" the evil scientist yelped. "How did you-?" He gasped as he spotted the hole in the back of the chocolate Perry, which was still standing exactly where it was. "You ate your own heinie?! I must aim it, quickly!"

He rushed over to the machine and rotated the mechanism, causing the laser to swing round and aim at the giant chocolate bar. When Perry rushed at him, he kicked the platypus away.

Red hot anger filled Mavis's entire body. She grabbed a wrench lying nearby and began to attack the machine with it. Doofenshmirtz yelled at her to stop, but she continued hitting it until it sparked and exploded, sending her flying backwards. She only remembered her previous arm injury when she hit the same arm on landing and felt pain explode through her entire left side. She grabbed her arm with her right hand, unable to even sit up through the pain.

Apollo yelled her name as he rushed to her side, dropping to his knees next to her. He felt her arm gingerly, touching in certain spots to see where it hurt. When Mavis hissed in pain and gritted her teeth, he discovered the exact place. "Alright, I don't think it's broken or even fractured. You should be fine in a week or so, as long as you don't strain it too much."

"Th-Thanks, Apollo."

He helped her sit up, and that was when she noticed Perry standing on Doofenshmirtz's back, pinning the evil scientist to the ground. The agent was twisting Doofenshmirtz's arm behind him, clearly keeping him controlled.

"Hey, come on!" the evil scientist was complaining. "I didn't cause that; she was the one who attacked MY machine!"

"It's okay, Perry," Mavis called weakly to him. "I'm okay."

After a moment, Perry released Doofenshmirtz and let him stand up. The scientist dusted himself down and shot the platypus a look. "Feel free to let yourselves out."

…

Perry brought two ice creams over to the hot teenagers sitting on the kerb outside Apollo's house. The doctor took his but Mavis, who was staring at the ground, didn't. Apollo gave Perry a grateful smile, which Perry took as his cue to leave.

"Mavis, you okay?" Apollo asked after a moment.

"I'm a bit...scared, Apollo," Mavis admitted. "When I saw Doof kick Perry like that, something just...snapped inside me. I wanted to destroy things. I had to force myself to hit the machine with the wrench, rather than Doof."

"It's okay, Mavis," Apollo assured her, giving her a sideways hug. "I'll always be here to keep an eye on you, okay?"

"And patch me up when I hurt myself."

"Yeah, of course." Apollo smiled, letting Mavis rest her head on his shoulder. "You can't be perfect every day, Mavis. Remember that."

Mavis cleared her throat. "I will. Thank you."

"You're welcome."


End file.
